The Hardest Job
by RandomlyGenericName
Summary: The Straw Hats visit Fiore, what happens when they meet Fairy Tail?
1. Introduction

The island of Fiore is a somewhat special island in the Grand Line. The Marines and the World Government are allied with the rulers of the island, but they do not technically have any authority over island affairs.

Most people on the island have never heard of a Devil Fruit, but Fiore has something different. Magic. A small portion of the population can use magic and are wizards. There are many different guilds.

Because of the dangerous waters around the island, and the powerful wizards defending the country, it is very rare for anybody to come to visit. Only a crew with a skilled navigator and a reckless, some might even say stupid, captain would dare to travel here.


	2. A New Job

It was a normal day in Fairy Tail. A few people were out on jobs, but everybody currently in the guild was sitting down to enjoy some lunch.

Natsu was enjoying his meal. He had an entire plate of turkey legs, and flames from a torch at his side.

"Mmmmm, this is delicious Lucy! You want some?"

The blonde sitting across from him smiled. "Natsu, you're the only person who eats fire. Even if you try to share, I can't eat any of it."

"Not the fire, the turkey! You can eat turkey."

"Oh." Lucy grinned sheepishly. "Thank you, but the answer is still no. It's a bit greasy for me."

"More for me then." Natsu said as he reached for the plate. "Huh? Where did it go?"

...

Gray was sitting in the cafeteria, eating a lunch he had received that morning from a certain water mage, while said water mage carefully observed him from a few tables away. He looked up and saw Natsu walking towards him.

"What do you want flame brain?"

"Nothin' much. I was just wondering if you saw where my turkey went."

Gray frowned. "What, did your lunch run away?"

Natsu nodded, "Yeah, I think so. You sure you haven't seen anything?"

"Nope. No clue." The ice make wizard turned back to his meal. "Hey, now _my_ lunch is gone!"

The dragon slayer gasped. "It's a conspiracy! C'mon, let's go warn Erza!"

...

Erza was happy. She had just gotten a fresh, special cheesecake from the shop, and she was ready to enjoy it. She carefully sliced the cake into four equal pieces. Before she could dig in, however...

"Erzaaaaaaaa!"

A pink haired dragon slayer came running up to her, followed by a shirtless man with black hair.

She glared at them. "What is it Natsu? And Gray, where did your shirt go?"

"Ah."

Natsu cowered behind a table as he carefully replied, "W-well, I was eating, an-and my turkey disappeared, and I thought that it was suspicious."

"Is this true?"

"Yeah, apparently, and my lunch vanished too," said Gray, having found his shirt.

"So you came to ask me for help?"

"No, we came to warn you," explains Natsu as he gets up and carefully walks back over. "It's some kind of dangerous conspiracy, plotting to starve the entire guild!"

"You're the only one that thinks that."

"Hmpf. Well even if someone does try to take my cake, I will stop them before-"

She froze.

"What is it?"

"What's wrong?"

"MY CHEESECAKE!" Erza cried, as she turned around and looked frantically around the guild. Suddenly her eyes locked on to a particular person. He was frozen at a table at the entrance. In front of his mouth he was holding the last piece of cheesecake.

Erza turned pale. "Wait, stop. That is the specially made, once a year, super yummy cheesecake that I got especially for today."

The man stared blankly at her as he moved the cheesecake closer to his mouth.

"Please! Don't do it!"

The cake was inside his mouth.

"Don't, I'm begging you, please just give me-"

*nom*

"YOU BASTARD!" Erza leapt at the man, pulling a sword out of thin air.

"Wah! Scary!" The man quickly grabbed a straw hat from the bench beside him, backflipping out of his seat as the blade sheared through the table.

The entire guild watched as Erza chased the man out the door and down the street, swinging her sword indiscriminately.

"Natsu, who was that?" A small blue cat flew next to the pink-haired teen.

Natsu grinned. "I dunno Happy, but he sure is brave to steal Erza's cake. Gotta respect him for that."

...

The man stopped running and looked behind him.

"Whew, I think I lost her," he panted. "She can run really fast, and it's scary how she can pull a sword out of nowhere."

He frowned and glanced around. "Where is my crew? I should probably find them. They can come back to the building with me and try the rest of the food there." As soon as he said that he put his precious straw hat on his head, and marched off into the city to find his crew, and hopefully more adventures.

A boat sailed towards Magnolia. However, it was not just a boat. It was a massive, fully armed Marine warship. Everyone near the shore stopped what they were doing to watch as it sailed leisurely towards land. The boat soon stopped just a little way out. From the deck a massive metal disk flew up, and headed inland, towards the Fairy Tail guildhall.

...

Erza had returned to the guild, out of breath.

Natsu called out from the bar, "Yo Erza, did you catch him?"

"No." Erza said, obviously still angry.

"Really?" Lucy was shocked. "I didn't think it was possible to touch her cake and escape without punishment."

Gray shrugged. "Maybe she's just having a bad day."

Erza walked back to her spot and reluctantly began to eat the rest of her food.

"What happened to Erza?" Mirajane walked over and looked curiously at the redhead.

"Somebody stole her cake and got away. Now she's depressed," Happy explained.

"Oh. So are you guys not going on a job today?"

"Maybe with just a few of us."

They continued to chat as Erza slowly finished her meal and got up and walk away. Suddenly a loud clang echoed from outside.

"What was that?"

The guild members started murmuring to each other. Somebody got up to check the door, but before they could, it swung open. A massive man entered. He was wearing a purple coat over a light purple yukata with a large white jacket resting on his shoulders. On his forehead was an x-shaped scar that crossed over both of his eyes. He appeared to be blind. Flanking him were four subordinates in white uniforms. He slowly approached the bar, tapping his cane on the ground.

"I am Admiral Fujitora of the Marines. I wish to speak to the master of this guild."

His mere presence was imposing. He towered over Mirajane, nearly twice her height. She actually looked a little scared as she replied.

"I'm sorry, but Master Makarov is sick right now. Is there a message you would like me to convey?"

"Hmmmmm. Very well. Some notorious pirates wanted by the World Government have landed on the island. They are believed to be in the city at this very moment. Because of the treaty with your country, I am restricted from taking military action against them. Therefore the assistance of your guild is requested. A 'job' if you will."

Mirajane nodded, but before she could speak, Natsu raised his voice.

"Hey, you said 'your guild' didn't you? You mean that the entire guild is needed for a group of pirates? I can take on a crew of pirates all by myself. We don't need the entire guild for a bunch of pirates."

Fujitora turned his sightless gaze on the young dragon slayer. "You are very confident, aren't you? However, you are underestimating your opponents. These pirates are notoriously powerful, despite only having 9 members in their crew."

Mirajane frowned. "That's enough Natsu." She turned back to the Admiral. "We can help you. Is there any reward for this job?"

"The crew has a combined bounty of over 800 million. You will be paid for every crew member that you can catch."

The entire guild gaped at the Admiral in shock.

"Whoa."

"800 million!?"

"That's a lot."

"For a single pirate crew? Count me in!"

The Admiral nodded to one of the men with him. The man stepped forward.

"These are the wanted posters for each of the crew, as well as the most recent photo of each of them."

He handed over a stack of papers, and Mirajane took them. She flipped through them looking at each one carefully. "Okay, we will get right on it."

The Admiral nodded. "Very well then. I will take my leave."

He walked out of the guild's doors and onto a large, round metal plate. The Marines under his command followed him. He tapped his cane against the plate, and it rose up and began to head back in the direction of the water.

...

Mirajane put the wanted posters and the pictures on the job board.

_"Straw Hat" Monkey D. Luffy - Captain_

_Reward: 400 million_

_"Pirate Hunter" Roronoa Zoro - Swordsman_

_Reward: 120 million_

_"Demon Child" Nico Robin_

_Reward: 80 millions_

_"Black Leg" Sanji - Cook_

_Reward: 77 million_

_"Cyborg" Franky - Shipwright_

_Reward: 44 million_

_"Soul King" Brook - Musician_

_Reward: 33 million_

_"Sniper King" Sogeking - Sniper_

_Reward: 30 million_

_"Cat Burglar" Nami - Navigator_

_Reward: 16 million_

_"Cotton Candy Lovin" Tony Tony Chopper - Pet_

_Reward: 50_

**So I decided to try to write a story, and this is my first longer thing. Chapters will probably be short, but hopefully get longer as I get better. This story has the Straw Hats as enemies of Fairy Tail, so I may write a more funny story about them meeting as friends. Thanks for reading, please review. :)**


	3. Encounter

The guild was gathered around the job board, investigating the new wanted posters. Everyone was discussing the pirates.

"Wow that swordsman looks scary. I don't want to fight him if I can help it."

"Why is he called 'Pirate Hunter' if he is a pirate?"

"_'Sniper King' Sogeking - Sniper_, isn't that a bit redundant?"

"That is a skeleton. They have a skeleton as a crew member?"

"Mmmmm, those ladies look very nice. Maybe I can convince them to give up piracy and come with me..."

"Shut up you old pervert!"

"A reward of 50 for the pet... Why so low?"

"Why even bother putting a bounty on a pet at all?"

"Why is there only a drawing of that 'Black Leg' guy?"

As the guild discussed among themselves, a loud voice cut through the chatter.

"All right then! This is a guild job, so we have to perform it well," Erza declared. "We will split up search the town and hunt down these pirates. Let us know before engaging an enemy. If there is more than one of them, or it is the captain, make sure to call for reinforcements to make sure they do not get away. The reward will be split evenly among whoever participates. Natsu, I want you to-" She stopped. "Where is Natsu?"

...

Natsu grinned as he ran through the town. He was going to find those pirates and catch them all. He couldn't wait.

"Happy, take me up! We'll search from the skies!"

"Aye!"

The blue cat grabbed the dragon slayer and flew high above the town. They scanned the town, closely inspecting the crowds.

Suddenly he noticed something. "Happy, take me towards that market!"

...

Nami was enjoying herself. They had come to a new island, the Marines were nowhere to be found, and they had enough money for once. When the crew had split up, she had decided to go shopping, to see what the new island had to offer.

"Ooh this looks cute. Hey get over here!"

The busty girl yelled at a man following her. He was fairly muscular, with black curly hair, a small goatee and a very long nose. He wore sniper goggles around his neck and had a strange black slingshot in his pocket. He was also completely overloaded with various bags.

"Nami," he groaned, "haven't you already got enough clothes?"

She flipped her orange hair over her shoulder as she looked at him in scorn. "Hmph. You don't have any idea about fashion, do you Usopp" She walked into the store and started to haggle with the owner.

Usopp sighed. He liked Nami and all, but she could be very troublesome at times. Also somewhat violent. He didn't understand why he was picked to be the pack mule. Sanji would've gladly helped her, and he was much stronger than Usopp was.

Some time later they walked out of the store, a new bag in Usopp's arms.

"So Nami, why are you so obsessed with shopping here?"

She replied immediately. "This island is very isolated on the Grand Line. It has its own culture and history almost completely different from the rest of the world. That means that fashion has evolved along a completely different path than everywhere else! Just look at all these cute outfits you would never see anywhere other than here."

She gestured grandly, indicating the surrounding shops.

Usopp shrugged. He didn't really get it, but Nami sure seemed excited. "Okay then. I guess that makes sense. More importantly, what about the rumors of wizards?"

Nami frowned at that. "Normally I would just think that they were Devil Fruit powers, and that the natives were just unfamiliar with them, but now I'm not so sure. There are way too many powers, and I don't believe that there could be so many Devil Fruits gathered here. I've also heard about multiple people with the same powers. There are even a few shops that appear to be magic shops scattered around. As much as I hate to admit it, wizards might be real here."

Usopp looked around warily. "Sounds scary. Hope I don't have to fight one."

Suddenly, a teen with pink hair and a winged blue cat on his back landed in front of them. He turned to look at the pair.

"You're Nami the pirate aren't you. I'm here to capture you!"

...

The guild members had given up looking for Natsu, and had finished outlining their plan. As they split up into teams, they heard a voice from outside.

"Hey guys! I'm back!" Natsu was walking up to the guild, pulling a large cart behind him. He had a small tear in his jacket and some dust on his clothes.

"Natsu!" Lucy waved at the dragon slayer. "Thank goodness! We were worried that you had gone into town to hunt down the pirates on your own."

Natsu looked confused. "I _did_ go into town to hunt the pirates. See?" Natsu pointed at the cart.

Inside the cart were two people, tied up and unconscious.

The guild was surprised.

Lisanna looked into the cart. "That one is 'Cat Burglar' Nami, but who is the guy?"

Natsu shrugged. "Not really sure, but he attacked me when I tried to capture her, so I figured he was a part of the crew as well."

Levy looked at the posters on the board. "Well, Sogeking is wearing a mask, but he has a long nose like this guy. Maybe you caught Sogeking without has mask on?"

"Probably. He was definitely shooting at me, so he could be the sniper."

Suddenly Gajeel spoke up. "Hey, we caught some of their crew. Why don't we interrogate them about the other members?"

Erza nodded. "Sounds good. Put them up against the wall of the guild. Juvia, we need your magic."

...

Usopp woke up as a large amount of cold water was dumped on his head.

"Wah! Uh, what? Where...how?" Suddenly he realized where he was. "AAAH, WIZARDS!"

Nami glared at him from the side. She was also sopping wet and looked simultaneously angry and terrified.

Usopp looked around at the people surrounding him. They were a strange bunch, but he'd seen stranger. "Who are you guys?"

A scary looking man with metal studs set in his face and a cat on his shoulder leaned in and leered menacingly at the sniper. "We're the Fairy Tail guild. The top magic guild in all of Fiore."

"Magic guild... So you are all wizards?" Usopp laughed arrogantly. "Sadly you have badly misjudged your opponents. I am the great Captain Usopp! I command a fleet of 8,000 bloodthirsty pirates and they will show no mercy! You had best release me now, and beg for my forgiveness."

The scary man scoffed. "Yeah right. We know you are a part of the Straw Hats. You only have 9 people, and you aren't even the captain!"

"Besides, we can handle a few thousand pirates," said an armored redhead.

Usopp gulped. _Don't tell me these people are all monsters like Luffy..._

Nami spoke up beside him. "What do you want?"

Another person, someone with black hair and a scar over his left eye, answered her. "We just want to know the locations of your other crew members. We have been tasked to hunt you all down, so we would appreciate any help you can give."

"No way. We would never tell you."

"Besides, we all split up when we entered the city. We couldn't tell you even if we wanted to!"

"Usopp, shut up."

The redhead spoke again. "Well then, why did you come to this island? Apparently you are rather notorious. What are your goals?"

"Well Luffy heard rumors about this island, and then he decided we had to come. He said an island full of wizards would be fun. It was tough to navigate here though," Nami replied.

"Huh..."

The group looked at each other. They seemed to have run out of things to say.

...

"Well that was a waste of time," Gray sighed. The pirates were still tied up next to the wall.

"Yeah. I'm really not sure what we expected though," Lucy said.

"Come on guys, we still have to go out and search for them." Erza was not discouraged at all. "Interrogation was just to see if we could find out anything to make this easier."

"All right!" Natsu shouted. "Let's go!"

Erza grabbed him by his collar. "No you don't. You ran off without us and missed the meeting. You have to stay here and guard the prisoners."

Natsu looked depressed as he sat and watched everyone leave. A girl with white hair walked over. "Think of it like this Natsu. Your job is to catch all the pirates who try to free them."

He grinned. "Thanks Lisanna."

She smiled back and walked out of the guild.

"All right! Let's do this!"

...

"This is boring. When will something happen?" Natsu groaned.

Nami glared at him. "You won't be saying that when Luffy gets here."

"Luffy? You mean the captain?" He grinned. "That would be great. I would love to fight him."

"Watch what you say, or you might regret it."

"Bring it on! I would totally beat this Luffy guy!"

"Huh? Who said my name?"

A man walked through the door. He was wearing a straw hat, and he had a small scar under his left eye. He had another, massive X-shaped scar on his chest.

""Luffy!""

Nami and Usopp were overjoyed to see their captain.

Luffy frowned. "What is going on?"

"Luffy! We were captured by the wizards, and they tied us up!" Usopp cried.

"Get us out of here!"

Natsu was ecstatic. "Awesome! Now I'm glad I got guard duty!"

He leaped at Luffy, his hand ablaze.

**"Gear Second"**

Suddenly Luffy vanished.

"Wha-"

A massive impact struck Natsu from behind. He flew forward, crashing through the doors of the guild. Natsu groaned as he sat up.

"Ow. What was that?"

He turned to look at the guildhall. Luffy stood in the broken doorway, his skin pink, steam drifting up from his body.

"Oi, you. Don't touch my crew. Got it?"

Natsu narrowed his eyes.

"Bring it on."

...

A half-hour later...

"Hmm. Nobody has found any more of the pirates."

Erza was walking back with the rest of the guild.

"Well at least we know that they are in town, right?" Lisanna said.

"Yeah. Real men don't get disappointed by little setbacks!" Lisanna smiled up at her massive brother.

"Juvia wishes she could have been with Gray's group..."

"Well let's take a break, then head back out," suggested Mirajane, smiling sweetly.

As they approached the guild, Lucy noticed something.

"Uh, guys?"

The guild members froze in shock. The ground outside the guild was littered with craters, and the tables in the outdoor cafe were scorched. Lying in the middle of the carnage was someone with pink hair.

"Natsu!"

Everybody ran towards the unconscious dragon slayer. Lisanna rolled him over and cradled his head in her arms. His jacket was shredded, and his body was covered in bruises. His face was covered in blood. Wendy immediately began to heal him.

Soon he groaned and started to stir.

"Guys? Hey, how's it- gah."

He winced in pain.

Lucy crouched down in front of him. "Hey Natsu? Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine."

The guild was shocked. Before it had been simply a few pirates, nothing special. Now it was different. They had attacked one of their own. Now it was personal.

Laxus grinned menacingly. Maybe he should start to help after all. This might actually be a more serious matter than he thought.

...

"So we have a wizard guild after us. I saw a bunch of pictures of us on a board in the building. They probably were hired by the Marines, because the World Government doesn't have authority here," Usopp said as he finished his report.

Robin's voice came out of the snail in his hand. "Understood. I have seen signs of the army around too."

"Yeah. Dammit I thought we could relax for a while here." The cook sounded irritated.

"Well I think we should _super_ get out of here before any more trouble comes along. Let's all meet up at the ship."

All the members of the crew voiced their assent.

**So there we go. Motivation for conflict. They would never fight seriously without a reason to do so, so I gave them one. Yay! I am not good at making original plots, or even characters for that matter, so from here on out is no real plot, just battle royale. Don't worry, Natsu will be back.**

**As a side note, you may have noticed Lisanna is fairly prevalent in this chapter. The reason why? I really like Lisanna, and feel she is wasted. (Rant incoming) The most emotional moment in Fairy Tail was when she and Natsu reunited, then she basically turned into a background character, or "one of the Strauss siblings." Natsu barely interacts with the FIRST FRIEND HE MADE EVER, (Igneel does not count) and I don't think they even have a conversation until they are locked in a jail cell alone together. Nobody even **_**mentioned her name **_**because Natsu was so affected by her death, yet he does not talk to her. (Rant end) **

**So now I leave you, thank you for reading, let me know how I did. This story is really fun to write. :D**


	4. Encounters

The Fairy Tail wizards set out from the guild hall energized by the need to avenge the (admittedly justified) attack on their friend. This time, they would be more successful.

...

Chopper was lost. He had wandered through the city in without paying attention to where he was going. Now he didn't know where he was. The smells and sounds of the city had thrown off his sense of where he was. He decided to ask for directions. To do this, he shifted into Brain Point. This had become his default form for interacting with people after his Heavy Point had become so monstrous. They seemed to find him adorable, and happy people were generally nicer.

Chopper walked up to a nearby stand.

"Excuse me miss."

The merchant looked down with surprise.

"My word, a talking tanuki."

Chopper was somewhat irritated by this, but he kept his composure.

"Not exactly miss. I have a question."

"Oh yes of course. Ask away."

"Do you know the way to the water? I need to meet my friends there."

"Why yes. Simply head that way and take a left at the cake shop. Then take a right when you see the inn that has a sign with a red horse on it. Then just follow the river."

"Thank you!"

...

Lisanna and Elfman were searching the market. Suddenly Elfman spotted something.

"Hey Lisanna, look over there."

She turned to see what he had spotted.

"There, in front of the stall."

She looked and saw a small creature walking away from a market stand. The creature looked around, then set off down the street towards them.

"That's the Chopper from the poster isn't it?

The massive man nodded his head.

"Yeah it is."

As Chopper walked by, Lisanna suddenly picked him up. He let out a surprised yelp.

"Awww. Can't we just keep him? I mean, he's only a pet, and 50 jewels, and he's such a cute little tanuki," She cooed as she hugged him to her chest.

"I don't know. Maybe."

"Excuse me!" Chopper spoke up. "I'm not a tanuki. I'm a reindeer."

Lisanna was surprised. "He talked!"

"Well we have three talking cats in the guild. It's not that weird."

"Please put me down. I need to meet up with my crew."

Lisanna frowned. "But your crew is full of bad pirates! You don't need to be their pet anymore."

"Hey! I'm not a pet! I'm a full fledged pirate! Don't look down on me like that!" Chopper started to struggle to get out of Lisanna's arms.

Elfman raised his eyebrows. "But your poster says 'Cotton Candy Lovin' Chopper - Pet."

"I hate that stupid poster! I wanted to be 'The Mad Doctor!' And my bounty is stupid too!"

The tanuki, or reindeer, seemed serious, but he was so cute the two of them couldn't believe what he said.

"Awww, it's okay. You're a good person. You can just come back with us and I'm sure that there will be no problems at all."

Chopper finally struggled free of Lisanna's arms. He dusted himself off and turned his back on the siblings.

"Sorry, but I am a pirate. I don't want to be anything else. Luffy and the rest will be waiting for me, so I better go." He began to walk away.

Elfman blocked his path. "Hey, we can't just let you walk away. You say you are a full member of the crew. That means that we are required to take you in."

Chopper looked at him. "I won't let you. You'll have to beat me to do that."

Elfman smiled slightly. "You are a MAN reindeer." He would feel bad hitting the cute little guy. He would try not to hurt him as much as possible.

Chopper grinned back, a rather scary grin for someone so small and cute. "No, I'm not a man. I'm a monster."

...

He had to. He just had to.

There were many beautiful women in this town, but even then she was extraordinary. Such soft white skin, large-chested, with beautiful hair.

She was everything he could hope for.

He couldn't help himself.

He had to do it. If he didn't, he knew it would haunt him for the rest of his life.

"Even though I am already dead. Yohohohohoho! Skull joke!"

...

Juvia was happy. She finally had an opportunity to be alone with her wonderful ice-make mage. They walked down the street side by side, just them, alone in the world. There were no crowds in their area, or even any people. Silently they strolled down the street, enjoying each other's company. There could be no better moment than this.

Of course Gray was furious over the attack on his friend/rival, and diligently scanning their surroundings for any sign of the pirates, but the love-struck Juvia was too distracted to notice.

A voice came from behind them.

"Hello there."

Gray whipped around. He was shocked that anybody had managed to slip past his notice and approach so easily.

Juvia was just angry that her time alone with Gray was interrupted.

However, both of them were struck speechless by the sight before them.

A massive skeleton, at least nine feet tall, stood over them. He was dressed in a rock star outfit, with a crown, a feather boa around his neck, and a purple cane. On his head was an impressive afro.

The skeleton leaned closer to Juvia.

"Excuse me miss, but... would you allow me to see your panties?"

Apparently, he was also a pervert.

Juvia jumped back.

"No! My panties are sacred, meant only for the viewing and pleasure of my beloved Gray!"

"Please don't say that," muttered Gray.

"Ah. Oh well. It is unfortunate, but if that is the case, then I shall be on my way. Good day." The skeleton turned and started to walk away. His skull looked sad.

"Hold it!" Gray shouted.

The skeleton turned back to them. "Yes?"

"You, there is no way that there are two skeletons with afros running around. You're 'Soul King' Brook, aren't you?"

"Yes I am. Are you a fan? You have rather poor timing, as I'm afraid that I am rather in a hurry right now."

"No." Gray created an ice sword and pointed it at the skeleton. "One of your crew hurt a friend of ours, so I'm going to take you in."

Brook sighed. "Ah, so you are one of the wizards. I am afraid I cannot allow you to do that." He drew a sword out of his cane and pointed it at the teen before him. "You see, I really am in a hurry, so let us make this quick."

...

Bisca was sitting on a roof overlooking the market. She had her magic sniper rifle, and was using it to scan the crowds.

"You found him?"

"No."

Alzack and Bisca had spotted the unknown pirate wandering through the streets, and quickly given pursuit. They knew he was in the market somewhere.

While she watched from above, her husband was down in the market, searching on foot. Eventually they would find him. He scanned the middle of the crowds. Bisca kept track of all the exits, checking people who went in or out. There was no escape.

...

Usopp was panicking. He had somehow gotten separated from Luffy and Nami as they went through town. As if that wasn't bad enough, he had also attracted the attention of two wizards. He was currently cowering behind a stall, watching the two of them.

"HelpmeIdontwannadie."

He continued to mumble incoherently.

Suddenly, the wizard in the market stopped. He looked around. He looked at Usopp's hiding place and narrowed his eyes. Slowly he stalked towards him.

Usopp held his breath. He thought his brain might explode from the fear.

_No, calm down, I'm supposed to be a brave warrior of the sea, like the giants of Elbaf. I am strong. I am going to escape this market. I am going to make it to the ship._

"Excuse me."

_I'm going to die!_

...

Alzack was walking through the market when he spotted something. His anniversary was coming up. It was the perfect present for Bisca.

He walked over to ask about the price.

"Excuse me."

"EEEEYAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

He did not expect a screaming, flailing pirate to slam into him.

...

Zoro liked this town. It was a shame he had to leave. He had seen many interesting people, everyone from a magic swordswizard with purple hair, to a man who looked like he was more turkey than human. Of course, he had seen people far more physically distorted, or just plain strange, but the presence of magic made his perspective slightly off. Magic is cool.

Magic however, could not compensate for one thing. The townspeople were horrible, compulsive liars. Nobody would give him accurate directions.

...

This was a problem. Franky had been racing through town with Franky Tank, but he had run into a large crowd, so he couldn't go nearly as fast. He might as well just transform and walk normally. It made him sad.

...

Gajeel and Levy were looking across the square. They had seen a suspicious man with tank treads and had decided to investigate. He shouldn't be that hard to find, he had a rather unique build, and blue dreadlocks. Who else looked like that?

A head rose above the others in the square.

"Found him!"

"You sure?"

"Light blue dreadlocks?"

"Fine runt. Do your magic thing."

Levy glared at her companion. "It wouldn't kill you to be polite."

She turned back to the crowd.

**"Solid Script: Loud"**

"Attention everyone." Her voice echoed through the space. "There is a dangerous criminal in the area. Please evacuate quickly, for your own safety."

...

Franky looked up as he heard the announcement.

"Dangerous criminal? I don't want to get involved in that, we already have a wizard guild after us." He turned to leave the square. "Better get moving before anything happens."

**"Iron Dragon's Club"**

Franky was hit in the side of the face with a pillar of iron.

...

Lucy and Cana raced through the streets.

Soon after leaving the guild, they had caught sight of a pirate. A tall, beautiful woman, she had leisurely walked away into the crowd. The two of them quickly gave chase. They dove into the crowd, pushing people out of their way.

However, no matter how fast they ran, they could not seem to get any closer to her. She was always just on the verge of escaping their view.

"Faster! We have to catch her quickly!"

"How? There are too many people, it's so hard to get through."

Cana looked at her blonde companion in disbelief.

"Just keep running!"

The duo continued their chase through the streets. The figure in front of them slipped around the corner into an alleyway.

"There!"

They turned the corner, and saw their target staring at a wall. There was no exit. She was trapped.

"You have no place to run," Lucy panted. "Give it up!"

The woman turned around. She did not seem worried. She just smiled a small smile.

...

Nami snuck cautiously through the alleyways. She had become separated from Luffy and Usopp during their run through the city. Hopefully they would draw the wizards to them, and allow her to get away free. Hopefully.

She carefully peered around the corner, then continued in the direction of the ocean. She came across a small blue-haired girl with a white cat in a dress.

"I told you we should stay with the group. Now we are by ourselves and don't have the first clue what we are doing."

"I'm sorry. I just looked away for a second and everyone was gone."

The cat grew wings and floated in front of the girl.

"Well I'm sorry too, but that is your own fault for getting distracted. You should know better than that. You should've been able to keep track of them, your senses are better than mine."

Nami stared at them. A cat grew wings and lectured a little girl. A cat. Grew _wings_. She seemed to act like her parent. Were multiracial families this diverse?

"It's my bad, I promise I'll do better next time."

The girl walked forward, and almost ran into the still-frozen Nami.

The girl up at her. "I'm sorry, I didn't-"

Nami stepped back. "No, I'm sorry, it's my fault for not getting out of the way. I'll be going now."

"Wait." The white cat stopped her in her tracks. "You, you were the pirate Natsu caught earlier. We are looking for you."

...

Natsu woke in the infirmary. He groaned and sat up. After the guild had found him outside, he told them about the pirate that had invaded the guild. Then they had carried him here to recover, and he had fallen asleep.

Thanks to Wendy, his injuries weren't all that bad, but he felt a bit drained. He lacked energy. Even after his power nap it was difficult for him to walk around.

"Why am I so weak?" It was annoying. Happy wasn't even around to talk to.

He heard a voice from beside him.

"Don't know. However, you seem to be perfectly fine. The only thing wrong with you is the lack of energy itself. There is no cause for it, unlike me."

Natsu looked to see the tiny guildmaster of Fairy Tail.

"Oh yeah gramps, you're sick aren't you?"

The dwarf grunted. "You mean you didn't notice the absence of your beloved master?"

Natsu grinned. "How you doing?"

"Fine. I've been told about the situation by the others. Unfortunately, though I can take care of myself, I'm not up for any fighting yet."

"So we're both stuck here then."

"Not necessarily."

Natsu looked at him in surprise.

"What do you mean?"

"Well," the guildmaster said as he leaned forwards, "you could go out there right now if you weren't so tired. Meanwhile, I can do nothing but sit here because of my illness, even though I retain all of my magic. You being a dragon slayer makes this easy."

Natsu's eyes widened. "You mean..."

The dwarf grinned mischievously. "Jellal once gave you all of all of his magic compressed into a single flame, right?"

...

Laxus walked through the town. From what Natsu had said, the person who had come to the guild to rescue the captured crew members was probably the captain, 'Straw Hat' Luffy. He didn't know what kind of person that guy was, and he didn't really care. That guy had given Natsu a serious beatdown, so he had to be pretty tough. Maybe tough enough to give Laxus a real challenge.

Besides, though he hated to admit it, he liked the little brat. He felt he ought to give whoever had hurt the guy a beating in return. The problem was finding him. Laxus had already gone through the crowded market without seeing any sign of the captain, so now he was combing the backstreets.

Amazingly, he found him in less than five minutes. A man in a straw hat was looking around in confusion, seemingly lost. A man with a massive X-shaped scar on his chest.

Laxus smiled a predatory smile.

Silently, he snuck behind Luffy. When he was close enough, he darted forward to hit the captain with a powerful fist.

At the last second Luffy quickly spun around and caught Laxus's hand with his own.

The lightning mage's smile didn't falter. He rapidly channeled lightning into his opponent. Arcs of energy crackled around the captain's body. It would short out his nervous system, and he would collapse to the ground, twitching and convulsing, covered in electrical burns.

Except he didn't.

"Hmm?"

Luffy stood there, head cocked to the side, completely unfazed by the massive voltage that traveled through his body.

Laxus grimaced in confusion, and increased the output. Still, nothing.

What was wrong with this guy?

Suddenly, Luffy leapeded forward and grabbed Laxus by the front of his shirt, slamming the large man onto his back. Luffy picked him up and tossed him into the air, then spun and delivered a massive kick to Laxus's chest, sending him crashing into a building. The building promptly collapsed.

...

Luffy stood staring at the wreckage. From inside he could hear the sound of pained groans and cursing.

"Who was that guy? Was he another wizard?"

He quickly checked his surroundings.

"Ahh, I should probably get going before anybody else shows up."

Luffy turned and jogged towards the shore.

**Wow I am lazy. This took way longer than it should have. Sorry.**

**I have no clue if Levy can actually do that, but that other guy from Grimoire Heart did something similar, so I imagined she could. Hooray for speculation!**

**This is the new chapter, I hope you enjoy. Please feel free to review to let me know how I'm doing. I hope you like it.**


	5. Chapter Whatever

**Sorry this took so long. Finding (and reading/watching in its entirety) a new series or seven is bad for time management. Getting a new video game is bad for time management. Attempting to bingewatch the entirety of Naruto is VERY bad for time management. Doing all three at once is just stupid. Guess who did all three at once?**

**Still, most of the problem was a lack of motivation. I'll elaborate at the bottom.**

**Also, KittyCatt1036 in the reviews mentioned Juvia and Lucy as unbeatable for Devil Fruit users. Yeah, no. No in every way. You'll see.**

**So new chapter, new stuff, hope you like, I'll stop talking now.**

Natsu raced through the town, leaving a blazing trail in his wake. His body was buzzing with magic. He used flames from his feet to accelerate himself until he was little more than a blur with pink hair, leaving fiery footprints in the street. Makarov's magic was definitely helpful.

The dragon slayer stopped and sniffed the air, searching for a particular scent. He grinned. Almost there. He quickly began moving again, closing in on the pirate captain.

He saw a straw hat weaving through the streets ahead of him.

Got him.

He quietly used his fire magic and leaped through the air, flying in a gentle arc up above him. He carefully waited to light his fist until he was directly above the captain, then without a sound, slammed his fist down.

Despite his care, somehow Luffy sensed his attack, and swiveled his torso to avoid the blow. Natsu's fist impacted the ground, and flame-filled cracks spread across the street, shattering the cobblestones.

Undeterred, he kicked at Luffy's head, but the pirate dodged again, flipping out of his range.

Natsu glared at him, flames licking around his body.

"Oi, pinky, what happened? You got scales on your face now, and you are a lot stronger. Did you eat something good?"

"Heh. This is dragon force. It gives me the strength and destructive power of a real dragon."

He grinned. "Can you top that?"

Luffy's eyes opened wide. "Does that mean you taste like a real dragon too?"

"...what?"

"Yeah, the last dragon I ate tasted delicious. It was so good even though Sanji wasn't there to cook it! Robin said it was made by some scientist guy. I wonder if he could make me some more?"

"..."

Luffy had to scramble to dodge the massive stream of fire that blasted out of the mage's mouth.

...

Laxus finally managed to struggle out of the wreckage of the building. He lay on the ground panting and exhausted.

"Damn pirate, what is wrong with him? Didn't even flinch with all the lightning I put into him."

A massive explosion rang out, followed by a stream of fire.

_Must be that Natsu's back up. Wonder how that happened?_

"Dammit, the captain probably got caught up in something stupid again. No way that kind of chaos is unrelated."

Laxus whipped around to see a blonde man. His hair covered his right eye and his eyebrow spiraled at the end.

_Captain? He must be one of the Straw Hats! But which one?_

He squinted, thinking hard.

_Black Leg? The cook? Must be. I don't think he could be anyone else. Huh, nobody would ever make the connection normally. He must really love that poster._

Quietly, Laxus got up, creeping closer to the man. He readied his magic.

_If I hit him with a shocking glyph, he'll be stunned, and I can just drag him back to the guild while he's immobilized. Then the captain will probably come back for him, and I can beat that idiot into the ground._

Laxus lunged forward with a feral grin on his face. The cook seemed to sense something, and swiftly attempted to avoid the attack, but Laxus's fingers brushed his side.

_Gotcha._

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

Crackling yellow lightning enveloped Sanji, forcing him to his knees. He gasped for air, trying to resist the magic.

"Oh? You're not unconscious. Well at least you aren't immune to it."

Sanji looked up, grimacing in pain. "Immune? What...?" He glanced behind Laxus, noticing the collapsed building. "Oh, okay then. I get it." He laughed. "You tried attacking the captain, and you got pounded and thrown into a house. That idiot may be a complete moron but he's pretty tough. You some kind of lightning mage?"

Laxus's face contorted into a snarl. "Yeah, what gave it away? The fact that you're immobilized and covered in electricity?

"Shut up you blonde bastard."

"You look in the mirror recently?"

Sanji grimaced. "Look, I was just leaving, can we just skip this and move on?"

"Nope, we got a job from the World Government. Besides-" Laxus clenched his teeth. "Your captain made this personal."

"Figures. Though usually it's the other way around."

Laxus and Sanji faced each other. Sanji sighed.

"Well, the longer I wait the more this hurts. Are we going or what?"

Laxus smirked. "Fine by me." He then ducked as a kick nearly took his head off.

...

Zoro looked up as a column of fire blasted over the city. He knew it had to be connected to either Luffy or that idiot love cook.

_Well, might as well go help out. Sooner we finish up, sooner we get to leave._

Zoro leaped up and began running along the rooftops. As he leaped between two buildings he sensed something. He twisted and drew his sword just in time to block a slash at his spine. He landed on the next roof and turned to look at his attacker.

A girl with bright red hair was standing in a skimpy cheetah-print armor. She was holding two blades and glaring at him with a determined expression.

"Who are you?"

She straightened, and her body glowed briefly as her armor changed into a less revealing set. This one had a blue skirt and covered her chest completely.

"I am Erza Scarlet of Fairy Tail."

"Fairy Tail huh? Well at least I know who is attacking us now."

"You will pay for the attack on my guildmate. I will defeat you."

"Actually that was our idiot captain, and no, I'm not going to lose."

"You are a part of his crew, so you share his guilt." Erza summoned a sword from the air and pointed it at Zoro. "Every one of you is going down."

Zoro casually drew another sword and looked at her. "Oh really? I hope that you have a few people tougher than you are, because the captain and the pervert won't go down to someone of your level." He grinned. "To say nothing of myself."

...

Erza thought that she might have made a mistake. His smile was not kind, or welcoming. It held an unbelievable ferocity, far exceeding anything she had felt before. It promised nothing less than a vicious, cold hearted obliteration.

She steeled herself, taking a deep breath to calm her nerves. She wouldn't lose heart to something like this.

"**Requip!"**

A bright glow surrounded her body. As it cleared, she was now dressed in a black, spiky armor. She held a spiked mace taller than she was in her hand.

"Very nice. Now come on, let's get this over with."

She charged at him, and a shockwave echoed through the city.

...

Gray stood facing the skeleton. The eerie black holes in the skull stared back at him. Juvia stepped in front of him and spread her arms.

"Do not worry Gray-sama, I will take the front. He cannot hurt my water body." She held her hands out in front of her. **"Water Lo**-ugh!"

She cried out in pain as she clutched at her side.

"Sorry. That will not protect you."

Gray saw that the skeleton has somehow moved next to him in an instant. He stumbled backwards, clumsily swinging his ice sword. The skeleton casually blocked his strike.

"Do not attack my beloved Gray! **Water-**"

**"Hanauta Sanchou..."**

"Eh?" Juvia's spun around to face the skeleton's voice.

**"Yahazugiri."** Brook slid his sword back into his cane as icy slices materialized over Juvia's body. He straightened up and looked at Gray, his empty sockets staring into the mage's shocked face.

"Yohohoho. Water as a body was a most unfortunate choice to fight me." He drew his blade again. "You see, my sword is called Soul Solid. I can channel the chill of death itself to freeze an enemy's blood." He began walking towards Gray, his unholy visage terrifying to behold. "And their _soul_."

...

**"Heavy Point!"**

The cute, tanuki-looking creature abruptly grew in size, becoming much larger than even the massive Elfman. The shaggy titan put his hands together above his head and swung down, smashing the pavement to bits. Elfman barely managed to dodge the devastating blow.

"Uh Lisanna, I don't think we will be able to take him as a pet after all."

"OF COURSE NOT! DIDN'T I SAY THAT ALREADY!?"

The brute leaped forward and swung a massive fist at Elfman's head. Elfman dodged and leaped backwards, putting some distance between them.

"**Beast Soul!"**

Elfman transformed into a creature with large yellow horns on his head and shoulders. His limbs became a dull red, and his face and torso became green. He grew larger than his already impressive height. He adopted a fighting stance and leaped at the pirate's head.

**"Arm Point!"**

The massive hulk's height and size decreased, causing Elfman to overshoot his target. His arms however, inflated until they looked like two balloons and his hands became cloven hooves. Chopper struck Elfman's chest repeatedly with powerful impacts, each one leaving behind a hoof-shaped bruise.

**"Kokutei Roseo Metel!"**

As the doctor continued to pummel Elfman, a white-haired girl with green wings and the feet of a bird swooped down and swiped at his eyes. Chopper recoiled, barely avoiding losing his eyesight. He glared at the Mage as she landed next to her brother.

"Elfman, are you okay?" she asked worriedly.

The monster grunted. "Yeah, good enough."

Chopper tried desperately to find a way out, but saw none. He doubted that he could outrun the bird-mage, and they knew the city better than he did, so he didn't think hiding would work either. That left only one option.

He leapt forward, trying to end the fight as quickly as possible. The mages were ready for him though and dodged to either side. The beast leaned to the side and unleashed a devastating punch, while the girl flew up an transformed into a large penguin, attempting to crush Chopper with her massive new weight.

**"Guard Point!"**

Both attacks bounced off the gigantic ball of fluff Chopper had become. The doctor reverted to Heavy Point and attempted to suplex the bird into the ground, but Lisanna became a girl and wriggled out of his grasp. She now had cat ears and claws and was wearing a tiger print bikini. She leaped at Chopper's exposed face, but he quickly shifted to Brain Point to avoid it.

While he was distracted Elfman had become a large feline creature. The large man leaped forward with impressive speed, trying to crush the tanuki.

**"Kung Fu Point!"**

Chopper became rounder, with muscular arms and legs. He quickly backflipped out of the way with a series of high-pitched yelps, and they exchanged blows at high speed, with neither able to gain an advantage.

As they broke apart, both sides stood glaring at each other, trying to discern any weaknesses that could give them an advantage. Before anything else could happen, a blast of dark magic struck the pirate, sending him into a nearby building. A demon descended, with wild white hair, black wings, and a scaly tail. The S-class Strauss sibling had arrived.

...

Nami faced off against the small girl with blue hair and her flying cat. She didn't know what kind of powers the girl had, but she mentioned Natsu and had a flying cat. It was safe to assume she was a wizard. Nami gripped her Clima-Tact a little tighter.

The cat spoke, "I assume you are not going to come quietly?"

Nami shook her head.

"Well then, we'll have to take you in by force."

Nami nodded.

The girl with blue hair cried out. "Carla, behind us!" They both leaped forward to avoid the small lightning clouds that Nami had spread out while they were not paying attention. As the girl rolled, she took a deep breath of air.

**"Sky Dragon's Roar!"**

A massive whirlwind blasted from her mouth, bowling Nami over. She crouched on the ground and aimed a section of her Clima-Tact at her.

**"Gust Sword!"**

The little girl flew backwards, crashing into a pile of boxes. She popped back up, only to see a wall of dense fog blocking her vision.

"Wha..?" She quickly composed herself, blowing away the fog. Still, the other person was gone, nowhere to be seen. "Where..." She sniffed the air, but the salty scent of that strange fog overpowered all else. She had lost the pirate.

...

Nami breathed a sigh of relief as she put distance between herself and the weird tornado-breathing girl. She was glad the Mirage Tempo had worked, she didn't need to learn if she could beat a wizard. Now to make it to the ship.

...

Lucy was breathing hard as she faced off against the elegant pirate. Despite being cornered in an alleyway, she didn't seem concerned at all.

The woman smiled. "If I may ask, why are you following me?"

Cana stepped forward. "We are going to take you in. It is a job from the World Government, and you also attacked one of our guild. You will not escape."

The woman's smile faded, to be replaced by a look of seriousness. "Yes, I expected as much. However, I will not allow myself to be captured."

Lucy drew one of her keys while Cana readied her cards.

**"Open! Gate of the-mphg!"**

Lucy's eyes widened as a hand covered her mouth. Her keys were snatched away as she felt herself being grabbed in multiple places, completely immoblilizing her. Judging by the muffled sounds of struggle beside her, Cana was similarly incapacitated.

A bright glow came from in front of her as she felt one of her spirits summoning themselves. A handsome man wearing glasses and with hair that vaguely resembled cat ears came out of the glow. He was the leader of the celestial spirits, Leo the lion. Also known as Loke.

"Get your hands off Lucy!" he roared, his hands glowing with the light of Regulus.

The woman gazed at him. "Mr. Cat, please consider the situation we are in. I assume that one of the women I am currently holding hostage is Lucy?"

He glared at her, not responding to her query.

"I will take that as a yes. Well then, I have a proposal."

Loke growled. "Release Lucy and I may consider hearing you out."

Lucy suddenly felt her bonds shift. Her arms and legs were pulled back, and pressure was applied to her back. Her chin was lifted back until she could hear her spine creak. It took all she had not to whimper in pain.

"I am afraid that that would simply be throwing away my advantage here."

Loke cursed, and reluctantly backed down. "What do you want?"

The pressure slackened, and Lucy found herself able to breathe again. She watched the pirate woman in fear.

The pirate smiled softly. "Nothing too difficult. Tell me, do you know how to knock someone out without injuring them greatly?"

"...Yes."

"Good. I simply want to leave. Take these girls and knock them unconscious. I will then release them and you may take them away. Do not try to follow me."

"Why do you want _me_ to knock them out?"

"I could do it myself, but you probably don't trust me that much. The main reason is that you have little chance of attempting to capture me again if you are burdened by two unconscious women. At least, not if you care for their safety."

"...Fine. I'll do it."

Loke walked over to Cana, out of Lucy's sight. She heard a thump, and then Loke was standing over her, one hand glowing with golden light.

"I'm sorry Lucy."

That was the last thing she heard.

...

Loke placed both women over his shoulders, adjusting his stance to take their weight. He turned to the pirate woman.

"I'm not going to forget this."

She nodded. "I do not expect you to. Just know that I bear no hostility towards you or your friends. We simply happened to be on opposite sides this time."

Loke grunted and walked away.

The pirate woman watched him walk away. As soon as the spirit was out of sight, she disappeared in a burst of flower petals.

Several roads away, Robin smiled. Really, that had gone far better than she had hoped. She had gotten lucky.

**Yes, I did indeed make Luffy contemplate eating Natsu. I really don't know why. Cannibalism FTW!**

**In hindsight, I regret starting a few of these fights(Nami's, mostly)-they seem boring to me and lack that something that makes them engaging, and are a big reason I found this chapter so hard to write. Finally I gave up on making it great, and settled for getting it done. Oh well, this fic is a bit of a learning exercise anyway.**

**Also, this chapter demonstrates why I consider Robin so exceedingly dangerous. I always thought, even though she lacks the raw strength of the monster trio, she would be the hardest Straw Hat to kill and the last one alive.**

**On another topic, does anybody know a place where I could get in touch with other writers? None of my friends are interested in this stuff. :(**

**Thanks to all those who reviewed, you really help. Let me know how I did! Until next time. Bye!**


	6. Chapter Titles Are Hard

**A/N:Yay I'm back. Thank you to all who reviewed, you are the reason I write this story.**

**Please feel free to leave any questions, comments, or advice, I don't mind.**

**In response to jalen johnson: timeline-wise, this takes place after Punk Hazard for the Straw Hats, and pre-Tartarus/shortly after the grand magic games for Fairy Tail.**

**Now on with the show!**

* * *

Mirajane descended in her Satan Soul form. She noticed the furry yelping...thing was stirring in the rubble of the shop. She turned to her siblings in concern.

"Are you okay?"

Lisanna nodded quickly, while Elfman grunted and rubbed his chest. Mira flew over for a closer look. Her eyes widened as she took in the pattern of hoof-shaped bruises covering his abdomen.

She turned her attention back to the furball just as it rolled behind a standing piece of wall. A blast of dark energy vaporized the brick, only to find that there was nothing there.

"Okay, who is this and what can he do?"

"He's Tony Tony Chopper, and he can transform into a bunch of different shapes. I don't know how he disappeared," Elfman informed her.

Lisanna called out to them from closer to the shop. "I found a hole, I think he's underground!"

Simultaneously, both of her siblings looked down. Mirajane took to the sky, narrowly avoiding being bludgeoned by Chopper's horns. Elfman charged the doctor, only to be flipped over his shoulder and slammed to the floor by Heavy Point.

Before he could follow up, Chopper was kicked in the back by Mira, knocking him off balance. Elfman lunged forward and punched him in the gut, and he doubled over. Another hit sent him sprawling into the street.

Chopper coughed as he rolled over, holding his stomach. He swallowed, and turned to look back at his opponents.

"Are you going to come quietly, or will we have to drag you back to the guild?"

He grimaced. There was only one plausible way to beat them that he could see, but it was risky. He could only hope that there was someone nearby that could pick him up.

Mirajane watched as the Straw Hat reverted to the form on his poster. He slowly staggered to his feet, and held out what appeared to be a small yellowish sphere. As he put it in his mouth, she had a premonition that she should probably not have let him eat it.

**"Rumble."**

Mira staggered back as the cute doctor vanished, replaced by a towering behemoth. He was probably 40 feet tall, with dense, shaggy fur falling from his shoulders. A massive pair of antlers extended from the sides of his head, and his hands ended in five massive black fingers, each one as tall as a man. A cold blue glow shone out from beneath his hat. An impossibly deep rumble came out of his throat, loud enough to shake the earth.

**"I TOLD YOU THAT I WOULDN'T LET YOU TAKE ME IN,"** the colossus stated as he took a step forward. **"I MEANT EVERY WORD."** He lunged forward and swatted the Strauss siblings aside.

...

All Elfman could think as he flew through the air was, 'This is not worth 50 berri.'

The impact of his spine against stone knocked even that thought out of his head. His vision was shaky, and sounds were distorted. He thought he could hear a voice calling his name,

...

Franky skidded across the ground, his face numb. Everyone in the square quickly streamed out, eager to avoid the conflict. A wizard with black hair, sharp teeth, and many studs adorning his body ambled closer, leering at the pirate.

"What, that it? C'mon, I was expecting better from a big guy like you."

The speedoed cyborg got up and raised a hand. "I need to get ready." He pressed a finger to his nose, and after a few seconds, his hair sprang into the rough shape of a pistol. "Franky Combat Hair!"

He was met with a blank stare. "Uh, okay, my name is Gajeel. What is that?"

Franky's mouth stretched wide in a proud grin. "The first design for Franky Combat Hair. I think it's not finished yet. I should add more detail, make it super menacing."

"Yeah... Imma punch you now, that cool?"

Gajeel swung without waiting for an answer, but the pirate caught the arm in his metal right hand, lifting the wizard off the ground.

**"Weapons Left!"**

His other hand swung toward the wizard's face, the knuckles opening up to reveal four gun barrels. Dull gray scales coated the wizard's body, forcing the bullets to ricochet off without much damage.

**"Solid Script: Fire!"**

A fireball roared past Franky, forcing him to drop his opponent. He turned to see a small girl with short blue hair, poised as if she were drawing on an invisible chalkboard.

Gajeel dropped to the ground, rubbing his wrist.

"Thanks shrimp." His arm transformed into an iron sword, and he lunged forward to stab the pirate in the stomach.

*clang*

"What the-?"

Franky punched Gajeel into a cart, scattering produce everywhere. The smaller mage conjured a hail of icy shards, which were melted by a fireball from Franky's mouth. Water pattered harmlessly against his metal body as he threw his fist forward.

**"Strong Right!"**

The bluenette leaped to the side as the pavement shattered behind her.

**"Iron Dragon's Club!"**

A very pissed off wizard dripping with melon juice caught the large man in the side, sending him flying awkwardly into a wooden stall.

Franky pushed a few planks off of himself.

"Well then, this seems as good a time as any to whip it out!"

A small yellow hand emerged from his palm and began to rummage in his speedo.

"You're a goddamn pervert aren't you!" yelled Gajeel as the bluenette covered her eyes.

"Thanks!"

Franky pulled out a hammer and began to work at the broken stall. He was quickly surrounded by a sturdy wooden structure.

**"Franky Fort!"**

Gajeel resisted the urge to facepalm. "That's what he was doing?"

He stalked over to the fort and began tearing at the boards, cursing under his breath. "I swear, if I ever meet another of these damn pirates, I will personally- How the hell is this so sturdy!?"

When he finally managed to rip it apart he was greeted by the unwelcome sight of an enormous butt.

**"Coup de Boo!"**

And so the pirate escaped, soaring with all the grace and majesty of a gassy cyborg.

...

Levy watched as Gajeel began to curse, barely holding in her giggles. She knew she should be upset that their quarry was gone, but it was just too hard.

"You think this is funny!?"

It was the last straw. She collapsed to the floor, body shaking with the force of her laughter.

"It's not funny! He farted, two inches away from my goddamn nose! It's gonna take weeks before I can smell properly again! That perverted robot pirate is the absolute worst person I have ever met!"

Finally, her heaving subsided and she stood up, still chuckling.

"Well," she said jokingly, "at least we can be thankful that Gray is the worst that we got."

...

Erza's eyes widened as the Straw hat swordsman easily caught her blow with one sword. She immediately leaped back as a return swipe nearly gutted her. She tried a few more lunges, but it was quite clear he was simply toying with her. His physical strength was immense, and despite his casual attitude, his stance left no gaps to exploit. She clearly could not win by overpowering him.

She put some distance between them as she thought of another strategy. If she could just get time to-

"Don't worry, I won't attack you while you change."

She stared at him in shock. How did he know what she was planning?

"It's not really a surprise. You realized that you could not overpower me with brute force, so you have to change tactics. You don't know how fast I am, so you retreated slightly to be sure that I cannot hit you while you do whatever with your armor. I actually have high expectations for you, so wipe that stupid look off your face."

Erza's body glowed as she shifted to her Thunder Empress armor.

She leveled her weapon at his chest, took a deep breath, and grinned. His smile no longer seemed to threaten her. Instead, she viewed it as a challenge.

"You know, it is not a good strategy to help your opponent regain their composure. Why would you do that?"

He shrugged. "Two reasons. One, any good swordsman learns best from his opponents. Two," his grin stretched wider, "I'm still sure you can't beat me."

A blast of lightning burst from the tip of her spear, but he merely leaned out of the way. She followed up with a few quick stabs, then requipped to her Flame Empress armor and unleashed a wave of fire. The pirate deflected every hit and leapt over her flames, untouched.

Before he landed she had equipped her Sea Empress and unleashed a furious watery barrage. As he parried the blows she summoned her Heaven's Wheel armor and many swords, angling the blades to strike from every direction. While he was occupied deflecting them she shifted back to her speedy Flight armor and in a flash zoomed around so that she was in his blind spot. She requipped one final time, gaining red pants with a fiery design, a cloth wrapped around her chest, and a single katana. All the power in her body concentrated itself in her sword, and she unleashed a single devastating blow at the unguarded back of his head.

Unfortunately for her, the pirate swordsman was not so easy to catch. He ducked, narrowly avoiding having his skull spilt in half.

Erza's momentum carried her further, and she slid a few feet before turning back to her opponent. She was just in time to deflect a blow aimed at her spine, and was soon driven back by the furious counterattack.

She quickly leaped onto another roof, noticing her opponent pull his third sword from it's scabbard and put it in his teeth. His smile stretched wide, and became even more fearsome than before.

Some unexplained instinct caused her to equip her Adamantine armor, channeling all her power into her defense.

**"Santoryuu. One Thousand Eighty Pound Phoenix!"**

A massive blade of compressed air flew across the distance between them. It slammed into her magic barriers, overwhelming and destroying each one.

When the dust cleared Erza stood on the other building. The massive shield and the armor beneath it had shattered. Her ultimate defense was cracked, exposing the skin beneath. A thin red line ran across her torso from the right shoulder to the left hip, a line that slowly began to drip blood.

...

Zoro stared at Erza as she fell to the ground. The massive attack was too much for her. Still, she had put up a good fight. His gaze wandered to his left shoulder. There he saw a small tear in his shirt, and felt a drop of warm liquid trickling down his arm.

Yes, very good fight indeed.

...

Sanji and Laxus battled back and forth. Both were superb fighters, and showed a display of speed and power that would have wowed anybody who saw it. However, it was clear who had the advantage. The cook was both stronger and faster, and was able to leap off the air to perform kicks with such speed that they were barely visible. Flames leaped from his feet, leaving scorched footprints on the mage's body.

And he was losing. The lightning rune sapped his strength, sending bolts of electricity crackling across his body with every motion. Every contact, every blow numbed his limbs a little more. Laxus was battered and bruised, but he knew that if he could just hold off the pirate for a little longer he would win.

"Dammit just go down already!" The cook cried.

Laxus smiled smugly. "No. You're going down eventually, so I just need to outlast you," he said, blocking a kick by crossing his arms.

The cook growled, then winced as a shock coursed through his body. "I am going to get through one way or another, so you might as well get out of my way."

He leaped into the air, sending an ineffectual kick flying toward the mage's head. Leaping off the air he positioned himself behind the man, sending a boot directly into his back. Laxus crashed into a wall and staggered back into the street, dazed and unsteady.

Sanji narrowed his eyes. He just had to finish him. All of his worst memories, his greatest fears, his most terrifying traumas. Flames began to lick at his suit, and his face contorted into an expression of pure rage.

**"Hell Memories!"**

Fire burst from his body as he charged forward, a burning streak of light. Blazing rings of orange surrounded the mage's body as he was pummeled from all directions. Finally, Sanji stopped in the air above him, slamming his heel of into the mage and embedding him in the pavement.

Sanji staggered back and examined his handiwork. He felt like collapsing right then and there, but he had to make it back to the ship. His nakama were waiting for him. He turned to leave.

Suddenly, crackling electricity surrounded Laxus. Sanji spun around and was greeted by the sight of Laxus bursting from the stone. Lightning surrounded his form, and his shirt seemed to have exploded. Blank white covered his eyes as his muscles bulged with power. The mage took a deep breath in and his chest swelled. Sanji moved to avoid the attack but the rune surged, temporarily paralyzing him.

**"Lightning Dragon's Roar!"**

The blast of magic power caught Sanji full in the chest and electricity surged through his body, frying his nerves.

As he fell, one thought passed through his mind. I'm sorry.

...

Laxus stood over his fallen opponent, gasping for air. His vision was blurry and his body ached. He could barely stand. It took so much out of him to beat a single pirate, and this one's bounty was only the fourth highest in the crew. Though he didn't usually show it, he cared deeply about his guildmates. If the rest of the crew was anything like this guy, they would need help.

He took a deep breath to steady himself, reaching down to grab the cook's suit.

"I'm afraid that I need to take him with me." Laxus tensed at the unexpected voice, and felt a needle prick the back of his neck. His vision began to fade, and the last thing he saw was a woman's mysterious smile.

* * *

**I'm done. Yay. I'm sorry this takes so long.**

**So there will only be one more chapter, then an epilogue. Then this short story will be over. However that does not mean I will stop writing.**

**I have several story ideas for One Piece and Fairy Tail crossovers and want to know which seem interesting.**

**First is a (mostly) standard adventure, where Fairy Tail gets a job request from WG instead of going to challenge the country of Alvarez, and end up traveling with the post-timeskip Straw Hats. I honestly spent far too much time designing the bad guys in this one.**

**Second involves Natsu going on a journey that parallels Luffy's in the One Piece world. They are somewhat rivals, and he (Natsu) tries to collect the greatest crew in the world.**

**Third is just a really random one where Tartaros is made of the Nine Demon Pirates and guildmaster Luffy. Swap out all the demons of Tartaros for One Piece heroes and villains and you have the idea.**

**None of the others are developed enough to mention here, so I will omit them. Feel free to send me your own ideas and I will consider them.**

**Let me know what you think, and see you next time!**


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